Monday Movement
Virtue of the Week:
Compassion - Compassion is understanding and caring when someone is hurt or troubled, even if you don't know them. It is wanting to help, even if all you can do is listen and say kind words. You forgive mistakes. You are a friend when someone needs a friend.
Read more at: virtuesproject.com
Video of the Week:
Bonus Video of the Week:
In the News:
If you have never watched The Wire you may not get the reference. Watch The Wire.
Trump’s Inner Circle Keeps Breaking the Stringer Bell Rule
Financial Intelligence:
Cash Flow is the balance of the money you bring in versus the money you send out. Usually looked at monthly, but you decide the measuring point. If you have positive cash flow you have something left after you have covered your liabilities.
Be productive.
Monday Movement
Movement Monday is a new weekly word to motivate us all to make progress towards our goals and aspirations. Take the best part for yourself. Peace
Virtue of the week:
Diligence - Diligence is working hard and doing your absolute best. You take special care by doing things tep by step. Diligence helps you to get things dones with excellence and enthusiasm. Dligence leads to success. Read more at: www.virtuesproject.com
Video of the week:
A clip from this video made the rounds on the social media this weekend. The full piece is worth your time. I have some Giovanni and Baldwin in the library, but getting to watch them engage with each other is a treasure. Lock in.
MLK Bonus Video
Financial Intelligence:
All forms of money or items of value are determined by the culture in which it is traded.
An Instagram feed you should be following:
Monday Movement
Virtue of the Week:
Forgiveness - Being forgiving is giving someone another chance after they have done something wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. Instead of revenge, make amends. Forgive yourself too. Instead of feeling hopeless after a mistake, decide to act differently, and have faith that you can change.
Read more at: www.virtuesproject.com
In the News:
Yellen warns anecdotal signs show businesses are pausing spending.
Video of the Week:
Harlem Prep Step By Step - A little history to get you thinking of the past to build your future.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lb6Icl45ufU&t=53s
Job Opportunity:
Warehouse Work in the Portland, OR metro area -
https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=warehouse%20worker&l=Portland%2C%20OR&vjk=56ff3cf89f73297c
Financial Intelligence:
Liability - Things that cost your money
Learn more here: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/l/liability.asp
Monday Movement
Movement Monday is a new weekly word to motivate us all to make progress towards our goals and aspirations. Take the best part for yourself. Peace
Virtue of the Week:
Self-Discipline - Self-discipline means self control. It is doing what you really want to do, rather than being tossed around by your feelings like a leaf in the wind. You act instead of react. You get things done in an orderly and efficient way. With self-discipline, you take charge of yourself.
Read more at: www.virtuesproject.com
In the News:
Cyntoia Brown was granted clemency today by the governor of Tennessee.
Video of the Week:
Check out this interview of Curtis “Wall Street” Carroll with Sway Calloway
Job Opportunity:
Imperfect Produce Pack Warehouse Associate - https://jobs.lever.co/imperfectproduce/29a145b9-94aa-4033-bc33-2671b98ffd07
Financial Intelligence:
Asset - An asset is something that makes money for you.
For a deeper dive check out this link: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/r/realasset.asp
Portland's African American Boys - Resources
Thank you for sharing your time and thoughts with me during our class. I hope that you gained something of value that will help you in your works. As promised I have collated some resources to further your study and expand your understanding. As I took some time to reflect on our experience I struggled with deciding the best resources to point you towards to expand your understanding. This struggle was compounded by events that have transpired since our time together that I felt compelled to incorporate in this document. In reality I could not deliver on that intention here, but I hope I have given you some threads to follow that will lead to some discovery. Please take this as a source of study and reflection. Take the best part from that which you engage and resist the urge to make everything make sense to you at the time you engage with it. I have included all the items I shared between classes. I apologize for the long delay. Significant life changes have dominated my time since our time together. I will be adding things to this page as they come to me. Thank you again. Peace.
3 Focus Issues In Portland:
Disproportionate Policing
Disparate education outcomes
Serial displacement
Movies
The 13th - Directed by Ava DuVernay (Netflix)
Get Out - Directed by Jordan Peele
Do The Right Thing - Directed by Spike Lee
I Am Not Your Negro - Directed by Raoul Peck
Bastards of the Party - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cjYQHQLcUM
OJ And The Making of America - Ezra Edelman (Hulu)
Priced Out - https://www.pricedoutmovie.com
Art and Artist
Damali Ayo - I can Fix Racism - https://vimeo.com/22860782
http://damaliayo.com/pdfs/I%20CAN%20FIX%20IT_racism.pdf
Knowledge Bennett
Kehinde Wiley - http://kehindewiley.com
Kerry Marshall - https://www.artsy.net/artist/kerry-james-marshall
Khalik Allah - http://khalikallah.tumblr.com
Carrie Mae Weems - http://carriemaeweems.net
Kara Walker - http://www.karawalkerstudio.com
Intisar Abioto - http://theblackportlanders.com
greenHAUS Gallery - http://www.greenhausgallery.com
Books
The Residue Years - Mitchell S. Jackson
The Half Has Never Been Told - Edward E. Baptist
Slavery By Another Name - Douglas A. Blackmon
The Color of Law: The Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America - Richard Rothstein
Peculiar Paradise: A History of Blacks in Oregon, 1788-1940 - Elizabeth McLagan
The New Jim Crow - Michelle Alexander
Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome - Dr. Joy DeGruy
Articles
Black Male Economic Outcomes (Just published on the Upshot)
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/03/19/upshot/race-class-white-and-black-men.html
Portland Gang List Data - https://projects.oregonlive.com/police/gang-list/
Research and Reports
State of Black Oregon - https://ulpdx.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/State-Of-Black-Oregon-2015.pdf
Bleeding Albina -http://kingneighborhood.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/BLEEDING-ALBINA_-A-HISTORY-OF-COMMUNITY-DISINVESTMENT-1940–2000.pdf
Coalition of Communities of Color Report - http://allhandsraised.org/content/uploads/2012/10/AN20UNSETTLING20PROFILE.pdf
Media Impact On the Lives of Black Men - http://racialequitytools.org/resourcefiles/Media-Impact-onLives-of-Black-Men-and-Boys-OppAgenda.pdf
Criminalizing Normal Adolescent Behavior https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/1067/8f5d951d14403337e7e17c27890ae08649d4.pdf
Dr. Carl Bell’s Seven Field Principles - http://whgbetc.com/carl-bell-youth-violence.pdf
CDC Fathers - https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr071.pdf
Harvard Implicit Bias Test - https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html
Black Lives Matter Fall Syllabus 2016 - http://www.blacklivesmattersyllabus.com/fall2016/
Podcasts
My podcast and blog. The permanent home of this document.
www.askyouroldhead.libsyn.com/rss
The Combat Jack Show -The longtime host Reggie Osse passed away in January. His show captured a great deal of Hip Hop history and culture. He was a influential in the business prior to revolutionizing podcasting.
http://podbay.fm/show/412308823
Denzel Washington Is the Greatest Actor of All Time Period - W. Kamua Bell and Kevin Avery
http://www.earwolf.com/show/denzel-washington/
Programs & Sites
Not Alone In The Woods
Not Alone In The Woods
Justice Rajee
Find a better stick. The strength based response to finding the appropriate materials to solve the task in front of you. I learned this phrase well working with Sarah, Jamey, and Scott for the last nine months in the Trackers PDX Wilderness Survival Immersion. The program is a year long wilderness skills training experience at Camp Trackers in Sandy, OR. Each month we spent a weekend learning skills like shelter building, starting fires, preserving food, tool making, foraging, plant identification, knife making, hiking, tracking, wildlife identification, hide preparation, and more. We camped each weekend and worked on a new skill in preparation for an end of the year five day camp using the skills we learned over the course of the year. I took some time to let the experience wash over me and now I am ready to share some of my thoughts on my experience. The following paragraphs and images will tell the story.
Folks from my community experience many barriers to engaging with our open spaces. I like the outdoors. You can look here and here and here for information on the structural challenges. It does not take much to find it, now that folks are really writing about it. I did some scouting as a youth and that was cool, but it was not sufficient. I like experiencing nature, but I needed to develop my skills to really feel at peace in forest. Live learn teach. That is the motto that I walk with daily. The larger structural and cultural issues need to be addressed, but that was not my focus. For me all change starts with what I can do with me first, so I decided that the fastest road to getting myself out into the natural world more often would be learning some skills to improve my own understanding and confidence. That is what brought me to Trackers.
This is not man versus nature. The notion that humans must subdue the world around them in order to thrive is simply wrong headed. Now this does not mean that nature can't be brutal in the way operates, but it is not unfair. If you learn the rules and respect them you will thrive. Thriving not surviving was goal number one. Surviving is hitting the bare minimums. Just making it. It is painful, stressful, and really not much fun. I think going in with a plan to survive is one of the notions pushing folks away from camping and enjoying the outdoors. Roughing it is equated with being in a state of angst and teetering on exposure. That is the lie of the prevailing narrative as it concerns the outdoors. The idea that by camping one is connecting with a less advanced state and thus it should be wet, cold, and discomfort. As if those that came before us spent all their days waiting on the arrival of canned goods and ultralight ponchos. Finding what you need to be at peace and in comfort in the forest is just a different application of our intelligence. No need to rank it. Developing your skills is apart of developing your confidence. One feeds the other. Losing that belief will open you up to seeing the outdoors in a new light.
Fire. You need to stay warm and dry. In the Pacific Northwest you are more likely to die of exposure in the rain and wet than freeze to death or get eaten by some wild beast. How do you start one? What tools do you need? What materials do you need? What steps should you take? I got a coal. I learned to prepare materials. Even if you have blow torch, trying to start a fire with the wrong materials is a fools errand. The best move is preparing what you need before you venture out in the forest. I will continue to practice bow drill, but I will mix in some other methods. I have been working on a tinder bag for my forest kit.
Shelter. Humans don’t come with shells, scales, or thick fur. Building cover is vital. Modern tents are amazing, ultra light, warm weather, cold weather, hanging from mountainsides and what not. That is all cool, but the basics of how to make something that will keep you warm, keep you dry, and allow you to rest. I learned this year that getting a good night’s rest was a valuable resource in the forest. I waterproofed a canvas tarp to make a cover from the elements that were not derived from a petroleum byproduct. Boiled linseed oil, mineral spirits, and beeswax it works. Pine boughs made the most comfortable bed I have ever had in the outdoors. If you stay under your blankets I promise the coyotes will not snoop. I will have to keep trying the things we learned. I will be experimenting where I can and seeing what works for me. Shelter building is really fun. If you liked building forts as a kid then shelter building is for you. You don't have to go all canvas and what not. Use what you have and have fun with it.
Clothing. I started the year trying to find the right gear to get through a weekend comfortably. I wrestled with my developing vision of what I really would like to do out in the forest. I have some interest in through hiking, but it is not my goal. I think I am more interested in becoming highly familiar with afew areas. Returning multiple times, sheltering, building camps and learning the place on a deeper level. The base layers really matter. Some nice wool makes it much easier to chill out in a damp camp after a day of projects and such. Having a couple pair to switch out for sleeping is really nice too. Synthetics have their place, but some days all the plastic rustling starts to get to me. I will keep searching for nice wool and other natural fiber gear. I tried some old Swiss Army wool pants. They were not crafted with my dimensions in mind. I am going to have to make some gear too. Check the youtube, some real nice reworking of wool blankets and such. I turned some wool blanket remnants into a nice multipurpose tool. Scarf, breach cloth, bed roll wrap it’s amazing. I need my official Rajee in the forest look book. Changing socks is really important, have extra socks. Trying to sleep with cold feet is not the business, although some folks like a little chill on the toes. Find you comfort zone and be creative.
Food. You have to eat. Procuring our own food for the end of the program trip was on of the task we were assigned during the year. We prepared lamb, turkey, acorn, dock seed, and dried fruit. Now I don’t think it is practical for all of my camping trips to forage, jerky, and dry all of the food that I am going to eat. It would make it really hard for me to go out to camp very often, but it did get me thinking. Preparing food, so that it can be stored at room temperature and not kill you is really important. Humans would have never made if we did not learn how to preserve our food. I could have prepared more. I had time and enough tools, that I could have dried more fruit and prepped more salmon jerky. The batch that I mad is pretty tasty. We gathered miner’s lettuce and mushrooms during our trip. I tried in vain to catch a fish. It would have been nice to roast on on the coals. It was not to be.
Tools. Tools, their creation and use is essential to getting your forest on. Or your beach, canyon, prairie what have you. We did almost all of our projects with one human created tool and whatever wood we could find in the forest. A knife, that is it. We used a nice thick stick to make a digger-bopper. As the name would lead you to believe a digger-bopper is a stick that you use to dig in ground and to bop (hammer) your knife edge, wood wedges, stones, or bone implements. With a good knife and digger-bopper you can do a great deal of work. Yes a hatchet or axe would make some tasks easier, but these two tools will get the job done if that is all you have. In addition to a digger-bopper we made, tent stakes, wedges, wooden cutlery, backpack frames, our bow drill kits, and much more.
We used fire to bowls and plates, as we needed to prepare our own mess kits. I made a great bowl from a piece of cedar. It is a little tight for some food types, but it makes mean soup/stew/rice delivery system. I made spoon later. You need a mini coal to help got that little bowl on the end of your spoon into shape. With sand paper and patience I worked both to a smooth surface. I sealed my mess kit with a few coats of mineral oil. I will keep making things to eat with here forward. It is a great way to craft a bit while sitting around the fire.
I made a knife. It was an awesome experience. It needs a little work, but it ended up good enough to the job. I will not try to dispense much wisdom on this experience as I have too much to learn to teach much at this time. I will say, give it a try. I can’t wait to make my next one. I also created a nice sheath from a piece of sheep hide.
All in all the Trackers Wilderness Survival Immersion wasgreat learning experience for me. I am excited to keep building by skills and building community with those interested in adding on. Thank you to Sarah, Jamey, and Scott for leading us through the year. Get out doors, peace.
In the meantime in between time I needed to share the above. When you are out of pocket I have this look. For real. I try to manage my physical reaction to foolishness, but I don't always succeed. Keep this for your records on the way to nonverbally communicate effectively.
Peace.
Justice Rajee
Something I Feel Strongly About
I need y’all to stop lying. I mean for real, I need you to stop lying. What do I mean? Lying about what Rajee? I been around the block a few times. I have seen things, talked to folks, and been amongst many walks of life. One thing that keeps coming up for me is that we have a racist, sexist, and other ist society, but no one is a purveyor of any of these isms. I am not the first to draft the prior point into words, but being first and only is not the core of my value structure. What is a core value is being real about my strengths and area of opportunity. I need y’all to stop lying.
What do I mean? I had a conversation a month or two ago with a friend and a good brother. The conversation was not just about how men in general treat women and it was not centered on how black men treat women by design, but it landed there due to the men talking at that time. We shared a moment of thought around the number of women we know who have revealed in trust the obscene, foul, and disturbing things they have experienced on Earth with men. With men in community and out. With men in family and out. Things like inappropriate touching, propositions, and far worse. I need y’all to stop lying. In my life as a male I have taken privilege and been inappropriate. I own that. I know that I am not the only one who even in the midst of my development has not made an error. Women say these things happen to them and some of us start with the bull that we have never seen a violation of any sort. The evidence is out there and I need y’all to stop lying.
I need y’all stop lying about consent. I need y’all stop lying about you prowess. I need y’all to stop lying about what happened that night. I need y’all to stop lying about how you care. I need y’all to stop lying. To get ahead of the fools that will say it, I don’t need any more evidence or data to support my view. I need y’all to stop lying. Own your shit and get some help. Stop lying. Make amends where appropriate. Stop lying. I need y’all to stop lying. For real. Peace.
Justice Rajee
Stuff Happens... Then You Have To Adjust
About a month ago I started to run a #3OWritingChallenge inspired by my good brother @ALifeAllah. I got to day two and something happened. A work opportunity that I had been anticipating was posted for hire. That took priority. I stopped everything to complete my materials and prepare for the interview. Wow, so confident you may say expecting an interview while only applying for the job. The role I was applying for was inside of the agency where I already work, but running a new program that expands to new client base. It is a role I have been looking forwards to for the better part of the year. Further why apply if for something and not treated as if you will be interviewed?
When opportunities to do the work you would like to do and that you have been preparing yourself for are there, you have to strike. For me that meant a high quality cover letter, updating my resume, and preparing for the interview. That means reviewing my past work, identifying my qualifying experience, and organizing my responses to the questions I expected to be asked.
All in all that meant I could not sit and write anything here. Then I interviewed, got the job and then had to begin the work of doing the job. That means getting a new program off the ground from concept to actual product. Also I had to handle the responsibilities of my prior role until my replacement could come onboard. That means him have two jobs and one body. In any event I am getting on the other side of the initial rush and need to get back to work here.
There it is sorry for the delay in the action. Back to work. Peace
Happiest Moments...
I started this piece thinking about my youth. Wrapped in nostalgia in the effort of some deeper meaning I missed the truth. See my happiest moments almost always involve my Earth, my kids, or my brothers. My youth is up there, but with in the frame of moments I chose and cherish most those three always bubble to the top. Therefore for this topic I am going to dip into the history of rolling squad deep with my brothers across the land in service to our culture. When I was in my twenties and young in my knowledge, my brothers and I set off to build up the capacity of our culture by traveling to see as much as we could. We took what we called power trips. Now this is not the negative behavior of a narcissist, using what ever influence they have to extract gold from others. No, this is the activation of the resources that you have to build bonds, trust and community. What makes it a power trip? Good question. We would rent a car based on what we could collectively afford. Usually no more than a day or two rental. Then we would mash out and go and do as much as we could in the time we had. New York, Toronto, Baltimore, DC, Philadelphia, Detroit, Cleveland, North Carolina and more. We did not sleep long, moved fast, and treaded lightly in every place we hit. Bottom line we did not have the resources to slide in your town in comfort, but we always brought style. We would go to Nation events or connect with one person that we thought it would be wise for us to sit with. It was a blast.
I am a Five Percenter, you can go look that up. Our culture is taught in close personal quarters and I will not try to explain to you here today. The relationships you build while taking your journey in study are lasting and invaluable. There is no bond stronger than those developed while walking the land with someone. Believe me. If you think y'all are in love, take a trip together, the truth will be revealed by the end of your journey. I got knowledge of self when I was nineteen. Due to the diligence and discipline of my brother Majestic, we did not take it lightly. We pushed ourselves to honor what we said was our word and with that we hit the road. From the food, the jokes, the freestyles, and jewels I gathered during our runs I was made a better man. We agreed that we could not learn what we needed to learn and do what we need to do by being static in our city. We had to be present and be of service when we showed up. I think travel is essential to breaking the hold that this society can have on our vision of the world. I will not speak to one moment, because there were too many to choose just one today.
My question to you... For that which you believe in deeply, what will you do? Will you give up comfort to help your elder to get home after be released from the injustice? Will you let your means limit your efforts? Will you lose sleep? Will you sleep on hard floors with nothing to comfort you? Will you spend what you can't afford, so that you brother can be there with you? Will you travel seven hours although you can only stay for two? I am not making plea for you to live in suffering, but I need you to understand that some of our happiest times do not come with the comforts of the world. Driving until I was definitely asleep on the PA Turnpike was a small price to pay for trip up top to the Show and Prove. Catching tickets, dragging myself through work the next day, and having only a moment to see my moms was worth the memories.
Peace to my elders that ain't here no more Abu Shahid and Slim Jamel. I appreciate what you gave me.
Peace
Justice Rajee
Ten Ways To Win My Heart
Ten ways to win my heart. That is the premise of the first entry in my 30 day writing challenge. The heart. The blood pumping core of us all is a real organ and a metaphor for that which is close and deep in value to each of us. The list that follows is a short assortment of those things that will win you some cool points, maybe even favor. Enjoy.
Kindness
Kindness is the simplest daily dose of love and righteousness that we can share with one another. It does not take much to show it and it can change the course of someone’s day when you show it.
Philadelphia International Records
If you don’t the musical stylings of Philadelphia International Records we are going to have hard time opening our heart to you. Go here: http://www.gamble-huffmusic.com/home/ to start your journey.
Curiosity
I do not understand people that just do not want to understand things. There is so much to learn, so much much available to be explored that I can’t rock with you if you are fighting to remain shallow in your understanding.
Individual Style
Be you money. Find something that works for you and rock it with confidence. For the record just because you have something some people think is stylish does not mean you have style. Which leads to...
Don’t be corny
Corny is like pornography you know it when you see it. Don’t be corny.
Skepticism
I don’t believe you. You need more people. If you can operate with a healthy dose of the above, we can kick it.
Books
I read, I read, I will read again soon. You should too. Here is one of my lists on Amazon: http://a.co/4vtuTZ5 show me some love, peace
Geatano’s Cheesesteaks
I was born in the great state of NJ in the city of Trenton, but I was raised most of my days in Willingboro. I am not endorsing cheesesteaks as healthy part of your diet, but they are a healthy part of my youth. I grew up in a special place the steaks from the good folks at Geatona’s are a part of that history. If you find yourself in the area grab one.
Boomerrang
The movie. I enjoy it and you should too. I have full creative autonomy.
Outside
When I was kid my Saturday adventures would start with one phase “Mom, I’m going outside” From there my day could be anything from playing ball, playing in the woods, some kind of tag game, bike racing, whiffle ball, whatever. It was going down outside someplace. Go outside and do something fun. Walking is one of my favorites and good medicine for that which ails you.
Thank you for reading. Peace
Justice Rajee
What Teddy Pendergrass Taught Me About Being A Man
By: Justice Rajee
I did not grow up on children’s music. From an early age my ears were tuned to the soulful rhythms of the Philadelphia International catalog and whatever was playing on WDAS. The sound, the style, and the mannerisms of the artists all informed my understanding of how I should carry myself when I am grown man in the world, particularly as it pertains to engaging women. No one taught me more than the immortal Teddy Pendergrass. Teddy consistently laid it down. Now before you say something stupid. I know he did not write all the songs, but he spit that hot fire in an R&B context. Teddy brought the flavor to the lyrics and the passion to the music. We do not often realize where we have gathered the underlying beliefs and assumptions that we express in our behavior as we mature and venture out to make those love connections. As I came into my own as a man, the lessons laid out over bass, keys, drums and strings began to make themselves known. The following is some of the concepts I can trace to the above classic material.
I need a place... I can’t be out here buying drinks, asking for numbers, and making offers without someplace for the next level of our engagement to take place. Understand prior to having my own spot, I made reservations to allow for spaces that I held temporary rights to be intimate be cleared for use. However that was only a temporary allowance, I had to have my own spot to count myself as a man in proper form. It does not have to be a grand palace, but I needed to have the rights to use the space as I see fit. Frankly, I don’t understand you cats that don’t want to move out of peoples’ domicile. Write your name on the Orange Juice and using all the laundry detergent is not a good look. Get your own. I was ready to go, you should be too.
I need consent... As you listen to the jam, you should pick up that Teddy is asking for the business. He is building a case for why rolling with him is the correct next move and why, but at no point does he imply that she has to go or she has violated some bullshit contract established due to accepting a drink (presumed not confirm that a drink exchange took place) if she decides this is not for her. I will accept that he is pressing a hard case, but the option to say no is always on the table. As long as I can remember I have operated under the idea that any intimate steps that are taken with a women must be preceded by consent. If there is no consent it is not intimate, it is not sex, it is rape.
(full stop)
I have no memory of anyone talking to me about consent in the way we have do now, should do now and honestly I was surprised the first times I heard peers make statements that implied they may have muscled acts upon a women they claim as a sexual partner. If both parties have not agreed on the actions taking place someone is in violation and more than likely it is you homie. You live you learn, but let me be clear ask and accept the answer given as stated. If she gives you the green light proceed and may you both have a memorable experience.
Be honest about your motivation... This is a two in one situation. There is you and your intended person of intimate interest. You need to be honest with yourself about what you are looking for out this encounter and own it. Most relationships start with two people that mutually agree that they are attractive. From there it gets into other more complicated thoughts and feelings. The streets, bars, and broke down couches of America are filled with people who lacked the emotional maturity to admit that they were all the way drawn up on someone they met at social function and bitterly damaged when that person did not feel the same. Translated, if you really have an interest in building a deeper connection, don’t front. You will end up looking like and in fact being the asshole, as you try to make the person who has not met your expectations public enemy number one. We all know your heart is broken, just own it and stop disparaging her and other women, because you had different goals. If you just want to see where the night goes, no promises, stay in that lane and let the good times roll.
Be prepared for yes... Sometimes as men we just throw something out there and really don’t expect it to work. Well, sometimes that bubble gum wrapper, fortune cookie, crackerjack box rabble you threw on the field hits. You thought you would just say something basic and accept rejection with dignity, but then she says, “tell me more.” If you don’t have a plan for yes or at least a loose outline for yes this will be a colossal failure. Well before visualizing became the hallmark of sports and life coaching, it was apart of my skill set. See Teddy had a plan before he engaged dialogue with women in the story. He told her about the fire, the wine, sharing each other’s company and the means to get to his place. I presume he knew what he would have to put on the board to get the response he was looking for, you should too. Confidence is the currency of connections. I have been the victim of not having a follow up and it hurts. You are left with nothing but a glass full of what ifs and what could have beens to comfort your bruised pride. Teddy let me know I needed to be ready. I needed to think ahead with respect to her needs, wishes, and interests.
Live, Learn, Teach
Self Determination - Kujichagulia
Peace
Self determination is one of the most important concepts you will need to learn youngster. If you are going to grow up and be a high level human being or at least a half-decent human being self determination will be one of the most useful tools in your bag.
What is it? Why is it important? These are good questions, I may or may not answer them to your liking in the following lines, why? Because giving you all the answers does not help anyone. Proper guidance is a mix of answers, questions, examples, directions, and blank stares. I am here to set you on the path, not build the house for you. You have to have the self determination to build your own place with the bricks, boards, and tools shared with you.
This is askyouroldhead.com not Itakeordersfromtheoldhead.com, learn something.
Awe wait don’t tell me you are leaving.
You pulling the rip cord, because I tell you, you have something to learn, but I didn’t give you all the information? I didn’t show you where to find it in the book? I didn’t give you clear instructions? There are somethings you can learn in any book, but will not find in the text. Dig me? You tell a man your hungry, he gives you a stick and points you towards the river, get the message.
Without learning to see the world within the design of your own mind you will not see the best part. You can use some guides and tools, we all do, but you have to walk it yourself. You have to question your assumptions, beliefs, and experiences. You have to challenge you elders, your peers, and the world around you show and prove that what they are selling you is not a hot plate of manure. You have to risk embarrassment, shame, and rejection to get to a place of confidence and clarity. You may have to skip some holidays, break some hearts, and occasionally be the asshole.
In the end I hope you will find your path and be better people. Get after it.
Peace